E-Mail # 1 dated May 5th — Me to Prosecutors, CLO and Court Coordinator: Hello. My client is on the docket for a (6 month) PTI completion on May 16th. I believe she is in full compliance. Would it be possible to dismiss her case prior to that date so that she does not have to miss work? Thanks.
CRICKETS CHIRPING
E-Mail # 2 dated May 12th — Me to Prosecutors, CLO, and Court Coordinator: Hello. Just following up here. My client is on the docket for a (6 month) PTI completion on May 16th. I believe she is in full compliance. Would it be possible to dismiss her case prior to that date so that she does not have to miss work? Thanks.
E-Mail Response from Chief on May 12th — Reply to all — Hello. Not sure if you e-mailed certificates of completion (of required courses) to another chief, but I do not have them. Could you forward them to me and I will dismiss?
E-Mail # 3 on May 12th — Reply to all — My client said she gave them to her supervision officer, but if you don’t have them, I will get them and send them to you.
E-Mail Response from Probation Supervisor on May 12th — Reply to all — I received the certificates of completion and I will send them to the chief.
E-Mail # 4 on May 13th — Reply to all — Thank you. Will my client need to appear in person on Monday or will the case be dismissed off docket?
E-Mail Response from Probation Supervisor on May 13th — Reply to all — I don’t know if your client has to be there or not. Chief, can you please advise?
CRICKETS CHIRPING
THIS MORNING IN COURT
ME: Good morning, did you dismiss my client’s case?
CHIEF (pulling up my client’s case on computer): Did you send me the paperwork?
ME: No, the probation supervisor . . .
CHIEF: You need to calm down!
ME: Um, I am calm.
CHIEF: You never sent me the contract.
ME: Wait. What? The PTI contract?
CHIEF: Calm down.
ME: I am calm, but why would I have sent you the PTI contract?
CHIEF: It is not in my e-mails.
ME: Well, you weren’t chief when we signed up six months ago, so it wouldn’t be in your e-mails.
CHIEF: I meant the certificates of completion of the courses. Did you send those?
ME: No, the . . .
CHIEF: If you didn’t send them to me, how will I know if she did the courses.
ME: Well, the super–
CHIEF: You need to send me the certificates and I am not seeing any e-mail from you.
ME: It wouldn’t be from me, the supervisor . . .
CHIEF: No e-mail from you.
ME: Can I talk?
PAUSE
ME: The e-mail would be from the probation supervisor. He sent you an e-mail saying that he had them.
CHIEF LOOKS AT E-MAIL: Well, the standard procedure for a PTI is that you send me the certificate of completion.
ME: That has never been my experience in the past.
CHIEF: That’s standard procedure.
MISDEMEANOR TWO: Yeah, that’s how we always do it.
CHIEF: I’ll dismiss it this time, but in the future you need to send the certificates to me.
ME: Whatever.
MISDEMEANOR TWO: And if you are done talking, I need my chair back.