Just like humans, male and female birds share the responsibility of raising children. Both male and female birds leave the nest to collect items to build a nest with. Likewise, both you and your spouse contribute to the home environment whether it is through caring for children or going out into the workplace to earn an income to support your family. Male and female birds also collect food just as both you and your spouse are capable of preparing meals for your children. Once your children have reached an age of maturity they can leave the nest, so to speak, and live their own lives as adults.
However, before your children are old enough to go out on their own you and your spouse need to figure out how to raise your children after a divorce. If you thought that raising a child was difficult when he lived in the same household as your spouse it is the expectation that the degree of difficulty will ramp up now that the two of you are living in separate households. Communication, putting the interests of your child first, and letting your ego take a backseat we’re all important to this equation.
As with anything else, different types of custody agreements come into and out of fashion over time in the world of Texas divorces. Right now, one of the most popular types of visitation in custody arrangements is known as bird’s nest custody. In case any of you were wondering why I was going into detail regarding issues related to birds in the first paragraph of today’s blog post, well, this is why. Since we know that birds and humans share some characteristics when it comes to raising children parents have adopted the bird’s nest approach and have made parenting in this style more common after Texas divorces.
Proponents of this approach to Co-parenting will tell you that it is unique and child-focused. However, as with anything else in the world of Texas family law you need to do a careful analysis of this method of parenting to determine whether or not it would figure to work well for you and your family. In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to walk through bird’s nest custody and whether it seems like it would be a good idea for you and your family. If you have any questions about the material you read in today’s blog post please do not hesitate to contact our office for a free of charge consultation.
Birds nest custody arrangements are becoming more and more popular
In a typical post-divorce world, you and your ex-spouse will be spending a great deal of time in the car driving kids back and forth in between one another’s homes. More accurately, it is the parent who has visitation rights who tends to do more of the driving than the parent who has primary custody. Therefore, many parents try their best to arrange the custody schedule in a way that suits both parents in terms of predictability and ease of logistics. In a city like Houston where traffic can be and often is difficult this is especially important.
While some children get along just fine using this method of back and forth parenting time for many children it does not work out well. Children become used to a certain lifestyle and to up and change the lifestyle abruptly can be a shock to the system of many children. Your children probably have a certain lifestyle that they have become accustomed to in their homes. Friends, school, activities, and other typical markings of a home can be difficult for your child to adjust win put in a situation where they will be separated from those things for extended periods. It can be strange for your child to have two come to grips with only being able to sleep in their bed at home three out of five days of the week or something similar. While we like to think of our children as being resilient oftentimes they are not in the face of incredibly turbulent circumstances after a divorce.
One of the difficult parts about divorce is about your children having to get used to living apart from you and your spouse. For their entire lives, they have become accustomed to knowing that you and your spouse are going to be there each morning and each evening for them. It is comforting to a child to know that they have this sort of stability and consistency in their lives. A divorce can put an end to all of this. children can express the ability to tolerate this type of change but oftentimes life, in general, can impact them just like an adult. What she may find is that your children grow weary of the travel associated with 2 households and not necessarily with having to leave one parent or the other.
The vast majority of the time in a divorce case this is how custody looks once the case comes to an end. Parents will figure out what to do with the marital home including selling it or having one parent stay and one parent move out. Either way there ends up being two households for your child to become acclimated to. The first household is in the old family home but with only one parent. The second household is a brand new home where the parent who moved out now lives. Even with the most child-focused parents in the most flexible children, there can still be a considerable amount of transition involved in this type of custody arrangement.
One of the great things about a Texas divorce case is that the process affords you and your Co-parent ample opportunity to sort through the problems in your family and work out solutions that do not necessarily involve going to court. While going to court in a divorce case is not the end of the world it does not give you any or Co-parent the primary authority to make decisions. Rather, both of you will be tasked with submitting evidence to the judge and the judge will make decisions based on the evidence and the best interests of your children. Oftentimes judges arrive at solutions that work quite well. Oftentimes, however, judges have access to limited information and make decisions that do not suit anyone well. That is the risk of failing to settle your case instead of going before the judge in a trial.
This is where birds nest custody may come in handy for you and your family. Birdsnest custody allows for parents like you and your ex-spouse to choose a common residence for your children to live in. Your children would never have to leave the house. It will be you and your Co-parent that leave the home when you are not slated to have custody of the children. Each of you we have your separate residence apart from the home that is shared with your children. This allows your children, in theory, to have greater consistency in their home environment and hopefully feel like they are more in control of there are surroundings. For the remainder of today’s blog post, we are going to walk through some of the details of the bird’s nest custody period from there, you can apply your circumstances to what we have to say on this subject and can’t have a better determination of whether or not birds nest custody may be something that works for you and your family.
Details on birds nest custody in Texas
To begin with, almost certainly, if you are interested in bird’s nest custody arrangements then new and your spouse will have to negotiate for it in your pre-trial phase. Mediation and informal settlement negotiations should afford you plenty of opportunities to discuss the merits of bird’s nest custody and whether or not it could work for you all. You may choose to negotiate the basic and general details of birds’ nest custody and informal settlement negotiations and choose to use mediation as a time to lock down the final details.
However, if you are not able to negotiate for birds nest custody between you and your spouse before the end of your divorce it is not likely that you will be able to have this implemented into your case. The reason for that is due to most family law judges likely being uncomfortable with implementing such an unorthodox in the somewhat risky method of child custody division. rather, family court judges more often stick with traditional forms of custody and visitation division such as a standard possession order. This does not mean that you cannot have bird’s nest custody assigned to you by a family court judge but the odds are against it. If this is something that you are truly interested in then you need to take matters into your own hands and negotiate for it between you and your spouse.
Bear in mind that a family court judge would need to conclude that bird’s nest custody is in the best interests of your child. This is not out of the realm of possibilities but it is somewhat against the grain and unorthodox. therefore, it would be who’ve you and your Co-parent too be as diligent as possible to use your time together 2 work through different options for custody with your case during negotiations. Do not resolve to do it later or to focus on other issues the first period it is my experience that after a divorce case he will not be satisfied if your finances or property division ended up going the way you wanted it to but we’re not able to say the same about child custody.
One of the factors that I think is extremely relevant when it comes to this subject of sharing a household is that it also means sharing financial responsibilities. You all will have to determine how you want to divide up the financial responsibilities regarding this shared home. this is a tricky situation, to say the least. Being able to figure out how expenses will be shared and how new expenses will be dealt with in the future is something best left for married people to work on. This is one of the most important reasons why people get divorced in the first place. However, you will be continuing with this delicate arrangement after your divorce if you choose to go through with a shared home environment as with a bird’s nest custody plan.
The aim of the divorce court is not to divide property in a way that leaves entanglements between the two of you. on the other hand, well I wouldn’t say that children count as entanglements I also would not tell you that it is unfair to think of them in that way at least in some regards. You and your Co-parent will always have the common bond of your children. No matter what you try to do with custody there will always be the issue of needing to figure out how to best divide time with the children between the two of you. If a bird’s nest plan does not work out then you will need to find something else that does.
what I’m trying to get at is that not only do you all need to think that sharing a house to raise your children in is in their best interests but also that sharing the responsibilities of paying for the house and everything that comes with it is also in the best interest of the children. If you think that you will be bringing in stress and anxiety into your parenting relationship due to the financial aspects of sharing a home after your divorce then I probably would not recommend that arrangement if you were a client.
What to do next if you think bird’s nest custody is a good arrangement for you and your family
The first thing I would do if I were in your shoes would be to collect as much information as possible on the subject of bird’s nest custody. You can talk to experienced attorneys such as those with the law office of Brian Fagan to determine what they’re not this type of custody arrangement seems feasible considering the different circumstances that you all may be facing. I may even go a step farther and ask any divorced parents that you are friends with if they know anyone who has chosen to go this path. You may be able to get a first-hand account of someone who has either had success or failure with this approach to parenting.
The next part of this analysis would be to think about bird’s nest custody from the perspective of whether or not you all can afford this kind of arrangement both from an emotional perspective and form of financial perspective. What will it take for you and your Co-parent to be able to work together to solve the issues in a shared home while you are divorced? Next, you need to determine if the two of you have the financial resources necessary to share a family home and also have your separate residences for when you do not have the children. Being able to pay for one and a half residences is not something that most people can do. You may be able to but you should put some thought into it.
finally, you should begin the process of coming up with a tentative agreement on how to make this work for you and your family. That probably begins with discussing it with your Co-parent and seeing how receptive he or she is to the plan. If it is met with a positive response from your Co-parent and the two of you should put your heads together to see what you can come up with at least on a general basis. The details of a plan can be hammered out in mediation but you need to have preliminary discussions long before mediation to determine whether or not it is even worth your time to try and negotiate through this subject.
Needless to say something as complicated, intricate in unorthodox as this type of structure will take time. You want to be delicate about how you approach the subject given the emotions of a divorce. However, he should also be direct if you believe that this arrangement will be in the best interest of your children.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog posts please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person comma over the phone and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as about how your family circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case. Thank you for your interest in our law office and we hope that you will return tomorrow as we continue to post relevant and interesting information about Texas family law