Timing is everything, as they say. Making the right decision sometimes isn’t as important as making the right decision at the right time. Having a good thought but the thought coming too late or being premature in taking a specific action can be costly to you. When it comes to the world of divorce I certainly agree that timing is extremely important. When we learn about how people succeed in divorce, typically, the right timing plays a big role in their success. Having certain events lined up for themselves and their family take a negative experience like divorce and at least turn it into something productive and goal-oriented.
Helping people make good decisions about divorce is what an attorney does. Your attorney is not there to make decisions for you, contrary to popular belief. Rather, your attorney is there to assist in helping you avoid the potholes and wrong turns that can come up so frequently in divorce. Do not underestimate how important it is to plan for divorce. This is true even if you consider your divorce to be straightforward and without much in the way of problem areas. I’ve seen people take a divorce that should be straightforward and turn it into a one-year-plus-long road trip through a rather unpleasant place. Rather, why not use today’s blog post as a jumping-off point towards learning whether or not now is a good time for you to get a divorce?
This is the time of year where many of our minds turned to family. Thanksgiving and Christmas are times of the year built for families and making memories. However, if your family life is not where you want it to be or you have seen problems arise in your household within your marriage then you may be weighing your options in terms of getting a divorce. Of course, getting a divorce means that you have to take into consideration a wide range of topics as well as the specific circumstances of your life.
This is where a blog post like the one you are reading right now becomes interesting. The reason is that I know nothing about the specific circumstances of your life. I’m willing to guess that your life looks somewhat like mine and somewhat like many of the other people that I have helped get divorced over the years here in Southeast Texas. However, we all have circumstances that are unique and at present real-world challenges and opportunities that might not be in play for other people in even similar situations.
Therefore, I am not really in a position to give you specific advice about whether a divorce right now is what is best for you, your children, and your family as a whole period rather, ultimately that is a decision that you have to reach and be comfortable with. I would suggest meeting with one of the experienced family law attorneys with the law office of Brian Fagan before making a decision one way or the other. In that environment, one of our lawyers will be able to take the time to walk you through your circumstances and help you to identify areas that may lead you towards or farther away from divorce. These consultations are free of charge and there is no sort of commitment required of you to hire one of our lawyers. Simply contact us today to help gain some real-world perspective on your circumstances.
Is a holiday divorce right for you?
I think getting a divorce during the holidays would be less than ideal. True, many people around us are going through a divorce right now. However, going through a divorce when it is the holidays is one thing but choosing to begin a divorce right now is an entirely different subject altogether. I think from an emotional perspective you may want to consider your options when it comes to immediately file for divorce. Many of us would consider getting a divorce right now to be something that can detract from whatever kind of holiday environment he wanted to encourage for your family more placing a financial burden on you and your family at the end of the year.
With all of that being said, I do not want to make it seem like there is no good reason to get a divorce during the holidays. This is especially true if there is violence on going in your home. If you are being abused by your spouse then it does not matter that this is the holiday season. You need to take steps towards learning more about the divorce process, filing for divorce, and then working to obtain an emergency protective order to prevent future incidents of abuse. While a piece of paper from a judge is far from a sure thing when it comes to preventing harm from occurring in your household it certainly beats not doing anything at all.
Otherwise, you need to examine your conscience in your heart in matters like this. I will readily admit that a family law attorney is not necessarily equipped to give tremendous advice when it comes to subjects like this. However, all of us have a voice inside of us it tells us when something is right and when something is wrong. If you have examined that voice closely, considered your alternatives, and collected information then now may be the right time for you to get a divorce. This could be especially true if you have no children in this time of year is no different for you than any other. In that case, filing for divorce at the end of 2021 can help you get a jump on those that are choosing to wait to file for divorce until the beginning of 2022.
The other thing that I would mention to you is that if you expect to file for divorce at the end of 2021 do not expect for divorce to be both kept a secret from your spouse and to allow your case to move forward. Bear in mind that once your divorce is filed it is merely a piece of paper at the courthouse until you serve notice upon your spouse. This means that your spouse will be formally notified of the divorce by a process server or constable. If your plan was to file for divorce now and simply wait until the beginning of 2022 to do anything with the divorce then that truly does not make much sense.
If that was your plan, you were better off waiting to file for divorce until 2022. That way the holidays could be past you and you wouldn’t have any issues in terms of wanting to delay to avoid making a holiday season unnecessarily awkward. Imagine having relatives over then having them discuss with you the pros and cons of a divorce. Not exactly which you want to be spending your time doing. Additionally, if you already have plans to have family over for the holidays then I may be able to assume that the situation in your marriage is not all that dire. In that case, you may want to hold off on getting a divorce until after the holiday season has passed us by.
Deciding to get a divorce and the impact on your children
One of the most important factors to consider when it comes to whether now is the right time for you to get a divorce is about your kids. For any parent who goes through a divorce, time and time again I will be told that the most important consideration that they play about their case is their kids. Therefore, you should consider their best interests and think about whether now the best time is to get divorced. Here are some of the factors that you can consider when it comes to your kids in your divorce.
On one hand, you need to be able to consider the needs of your child regarding creating a stable and loving environment for them. However, the degree to which a divorce will impact that is truly in the eye of the beholder. This is an area where I can’t give you good advice when it comes to your specific circumstances because I don’t know them. Rather, you need to rely upon the needs of your own family to guide your decision-making. If right now does not make sense for your family to get a divorce, then you likely should hold off. It may be an awkward time for you to get a divorce. Then again, getting a divorce is somewhat like having kids: there is never going to be a perfect time to have kids and there’s never going to be a perfect time to get a divorce.
One area that I would look to and focus on if I were you would be about conservatorships rights and duties. If you are experiencing some degree of problems with your spouse and you not seeing eye to eye on these subjects, then a divorce may be in the best interests of your children. For instance, if you all cannot agree on religion to raise your children in or how to approach the issue of your child receiving medical care then this may be a good time for you to consider getting a divorce. Putting your child between a rock and a hard place in terms of having their parents not agreeing on important subjects and not receiving the kind of care that they need.
Looking at things from the perspective of a parent who does not necessarily receive the sort of time with the kids that he or she may desire then a divorce may move you closer to the point of receiving a consistent schedule with your kids. For example, if you are a parent who has been denied possession of your children for an extended period then this is an absolute problem. Part of being a parent is the ability to spend time with your children. The fact that you were getting denied parenting time with your children speaks to the level of discord in your marriage. For that reason, we can look to a divorce as a way for you to get your conservatorships, custody, and possession rights in writing. At that stage, if you are denied time with your kids then at least you will have the ability to enforce a court order. Regardless, these are the type of issues that you should be looking to with your children as far as whether it is time to get a divorce.
The great part about Texas divorces is that you can work through the issues of your case without having to resort to a trial. Saving your children from the back and forth of a contested divorce case is a great benefit for all involved. By there’s through informal negotiation or mediation you can work through the issues of your case with your spouse rather than having to resort to time with the judge. You can save yourself a great deal of time and stress if you can put your differences aside with your spouse and identify what is in the best interest of your children.
Issues related to property in a divorce
The other main area of divorce that I would recommend that you start to think about is property. Specifically, Texas is a community property state where it is presumed that all property at the time of your divorce is owned equally by you and your spouse. This is true regardless of who earned the money that was used to purchase the item. Income earned from most work activities during a divorce is also considered to be Community property. here are some of the most relevant topics related to community property that you should be thinking about at this time.
First, you need to make sure that you have a plan for after your divorce is over with. That plan should not necessarily be an assumption that you are going to receive spousal support for an ongoing. From your spouse. If you have not worked in some time then now may be the time to start to investigate careers, temporary jobs, or just something to keep your head above water after the divorce. Unless there is a recent history of domestic violence in the marriage you must have been married for longer than 10 years to have an opportunity to receive spousal maintenance. Texas has a high bar for awarding special maintenance and judges are more apt to award a disproportionate share of the community estate rather than two awards spousal maintenance.
With that being said, the fears over your long-term employment prospects should not be the primary concern that you have. Always keep in mind that you have options when it comes to subjects like meeting your four walls and providing for your children. Although you would not be the first person to stay in a marriage for financial reasons that obviously should not be your primary motivator. If this is a position that you find yourself in, I would recommend speaking with your attorney about the options that you have in the likelihood of receiving at least temporary spousal support. This sort of temporary support can help bridge the gap between where you are now and where you need to be in terms of a long-term career outlook.
Dividing up community property is the second part of this discussion. You should begin to focus your attention on collecting information about the property that each of you owns and determining whether it belongs in your community a state, the separate estate of your spouse, or your separate estate. After that, you can inventory and appraise the property. Inventorying just means making a list of all the properties in your life. And appraisement is simply your best guess as to what the property is worth.
Detailed examination results in you going through retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and things of this nature. A less detailed account could be simply taking photographs of the closets, dresser drawers, and cupboards in your home to verify that certain pieces of personal property do not simply grow legs and walk away during a divorce if you know what I mean. Either way, the best chance that you must prepare for a divorce as well as to determine if now is the right time for you to get divorced would be to contact one of the experienced family law attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultation six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as about how your family circumstances may be impacted by a divorce or child custody case.