The fear of the unknown is a big deal in a divorce case. There is so much that you are going to try to learn about divorce during your case. It can feel like you are trying to drink water out of a firehose when it comes to taking in all the relevant information about your divorce case. From the timeline of your case to hire an attorney to manage a split of your Community property 2 coming up with a child custody schedule for your children, the divorce case can take on many twists and turns along the way. All the while, you have to manage your family’s expectations while keeping yourself sane throughout the process. This is not easy, and he’s almost certainly going to be something you have to work on with their spouse throughout the case.
When you find yourself in a difficult circumstance, you need to know that facts are your friends. As opposed to feelings or assumptions, facts can guide you toward making well-informed and practical decisions for your family. In other words, you should allow the facts to be your guide towards achieving whatever goals you have for your family. Walnut, every goal that you come up with within your case will be achievable; the reality is that there is a lot you can do to benefit yourself in your family during a divorce. What it requires is for you to understand the facts and circumstances of your case and apply the law to them.
In today’s blog post, I would like to share the 10 biggest divorce myths that you probably believe are true. Please make no mistake; I wouldn’t think that you believe these things for any other reason than our culture has taken it upon itself to embellish in a twist so much about the world of divorce to make an already stressful process appear to be even worse. That said, I hope that today’s blog post can be a step toward dispelling myths and providing you with practice in real information that you can use to benefit your family.
You don’t need to hire an attorney to achieve the most favorable results possible.
I hear all the time that not only is it not necessary for you to hire an attorney to represent you in your divorce but that you could oftentimes accomplish better results without one. Let’s touch on the first subject regarding whether or not and you must hire a lawyer. The truth is that hiring an attorney to represent you and proceed through your divorce is not legally necessary. The Texas family code does not require that you have an attorney to proceed with the divorce case. As a result, I would never tell you that you must hire an attorney to proceed with your case.
However, when it comes to a divorce, you were almost always we’re better off hiring an attorney when it comes to achieving the most favorable results for your case. Managing the timeline of your case, understanding the law, and how the law interacts with the facts and circumstances of your case are all incredibly important to receive saving a favorable result, whether it be in mediation or at trial. If you don’t pull your teeth or fix your car, then you should ask yourself whether or not you should enter into a family log case without an attorney.
Divorce attorneys are all too expensive.
Once you get past the point of believing that an attorney is necessary for you to achieve your goals in a divorce, the next question that you probably need to ask yourself is whether the attorney that you hire is going to break the bank and cost you an exorbitant amount of money, for that reason, I think it is worth noting that you need to do your research when it comes to hiring a lawyer. In many ways, deciding which attorney to hire is the most important step towards accomplishing newer goals in the divorce case. Simply put, your attorney can be the best asset you have in your entire divorce, and the great part of that discussion is that you get to pick your attorney from several options.
The best way for you to learn about the skills and experience offered by your attorney and the degree to which the attorney will cost you money is to request interviews with each attorney that you plan on hiring. A free-of-charge consultation with the attorneys at our law practice will take 30 minutes, and you can learn not only how much our attorneys charge per hour and what the typical costs of a divorce are but also have your questions answered efficiently. With consultations offered six days a week via video, over the phone, and in-person, you have no reason not to take advantage of these opportunities.
Your kids will never recover from divorce.
One of the big reasons why people hesitate to get divorced is to benefit their children. Many people believe that their children are better off with having two parents in the house who are married regardless of any other factors. Well, I certainly would not argue that marriage is not good for families and children. I would tell you that staying together in a loveless, unhappy marriage is not beneficial for your children in and of itself.
Many times people will attempt to remain in a marriage that is not working to avoid the difficulties of divorce and avoid confronting failures in their personal life and other issues associated with the divorce. However, I would argue that going through a divorce can be something that stands to benefit your family both in the short and long term. While it is not necessary for every couple going through difficult times in their marriage to get divorced, your circumstances may be indicating that it is past time to go in that direction. A careful examination of your life and then the ability to make a decision that may be uncomfortable is what you need to consider.
Money is your biggest concern during a divorce.
This myth is related to the myth earlier about the costs associated with hiring a divorce attorney. Many people believe that going into a divorce case, that money will be their biggest concern overall. This is based on many people being concerned with having to afford a divorce attorney and having to work with people like an opposing attorney and your spouse. In that case, he may be worried about how New York spouse may want to take advantage of you or delay the case out to make you pay as much in attorneys fees as possible. This is a concern many people have, especially if they believe their case will go to a trial.
However, I believe that time is a bigger concern than money when it comes to a divorce. While I am not advocating throwing caution to the wind and not concern yourselves at all with the financial aspects of a divorce, it is your time that is most valuable. Theoretically, you can earn more money and put the concerns financially behind you by working multiple jobs or simply getting a better-paying job. However, time is something that you cannot obtain more of and is in short supply both during and after the divorce.
Who files first matters?
One of the things that I hear from people is that they are eager to file for divorce many times because they assume that if they file for divorce first, they will gain some sort of advantage over their spouse. Many times the advantage is not thought out or truthfully exists. However, the sentiment is that if they can only file for their divorce first, they will quickly gain an advantage that will be maintained through the end of their case.
However, this belief is mostly a myth. Indeed, the person who files for divorce first can oftentimes surprise the other spouse. There is a benefit in being able to plan and think strategically about the divorce. However, when it comes to the ultimate decisions about child custody and division of property, it does not matter who files the first period it is not as if the person who files first will be able to do whatever they want in terms of the divorce or can set hearings without telling their spouse. The party who files for divorce has a strategic advantage for a brief period, but once the responding spouse files their answer, that advantage goes away.
Fathers can’t get primary custody.
One of the most frustrating myths that many parents subscribed to is that fathers can’t win primary custody of their children. This is one of those things that I think people believe they have anecdotal evidence regarding. The fact is that mothers tend to come into a divorce, assuming that they will easily win primary custody. Many assume that their husbands won’t even attempt to win primary custody. After all: fathers can’t win primary custody, can they?
The reality is that fathers have as much of a right to be named as primary conservators of their children as Jew mothers. What prevents many fathers from being named primary conservators in a divorce is that they typically take on the role of provider more so than mothers. As compared to fathers, most mothers take on the role of primary caregiver during their married life period. Since judges are apt to maintain the status quo, mothers will likely be named primary conservators more often than not. However, if your situation differs, you have every right to push for primary conservatorships as a father. There certainly is no law stating that mothers must be named as primary conservators.
Judges have the final say, so in your case.
When most people think of divorce scenarios, it is done in conjunction with visions of courtroom drama between arguing spouses and a judge banging their gavel against the table repeatedly; At the same time, this makes for interesting television or movies; it is far from the truth. You and your spouse may never even see the inside of a courtroom. This is because most divorces are in Texas, and mediation is rather than a courtroom.
Mediation is a process by which you and your spouse agree to have an experienced family law attorney act as a mediator for the two of you. You all would pay that person to help you work on a settlement agreement that would help to conclude your case. The vast majority of divorces in Texas concluded in mediation as opposed to a trial. Do not expect that your divorce will be an exception though it is possible. It is much wiser for you to plan for negotiations with your Co-parent rather than how to argue a case before a judge.
This standard possession order is the only way to divide up custody.
For many parents, it is assumed that this standard possession order is the only way to divide up custody between them and their Co-parent. A standard possession order allows 4 Cassidy to be divided up. One parent has possession of the kids during the school week, and the other parent having custody on the first, 3rd, and 5th weekends of each month. Holiday time is split down the middle, with the nonprimary parent having longer visitation in the summer months—otherwise, holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving in spring break, or alternated every other year.
Since your case will likely go to mediation rather than its trial, you and your spouse can come up with your arrangements in terms of custody. You all can be creative as you want to be in terms of your possession schedule. Factors to consider include the age of your children, the schedule of your children with school and extracurricular activities, as well as the distance from one another in terms of miles. Otherwise, the only other limitations are your creativity and ability to discuss matters like this with your Co-parent.
Once you complete mediation, your divorce is over.
Many people assume that when they walk out of mediation that the divorce is over with. After that point, they figure that it is just a formality in terms of taking your case to its conclusion. After all: what else is there to do? Well, an important step after your mediation date is to be able to obtain a court order that accurately reflects the terms of your settlement agreement. This means that you have to work closely with your attorney to make sure that you all have an order that accurately reflects the terms of your settlement and the feeling of the room.
The risk you run is that if you ignore this crucial factor, you all will have a divorce order that is not worth the paper printed on. Your court documents R only as good as your ability to enforce the order down the line. Otherwise, he may as well line your birdcage with the orders. It would help if you made sure that here court orders are clear and enforceable. This is all the more reason to hire an experienced family law attorney to help you negotiate an order and draft one.
Life after divorce is difficult.
Many people assume that their life after divorce will be complicated and that it will take some time to bounce back from their case. However, I would argue that if you begin to prepare for your post-divorce life before the case is over that, you can ease into your post-divorce life quite well. Nobody is completely ready for a transition like this, but you can do the best you can to minimize any bumps in the road by preparing for your case and its conclusion.
This means that you can work with a counselor or therapist to help you transition into your new phase of life. It can also mean that you reconnect with people and your support circle to help you get through difficult times. Whatever you do, if you choose to connect with a social circle after your divorce, you certainly fare better than if you choose to go it alone.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week In person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law and how your family circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.