To say that it is disheartening to learn that your spouse is spying on you is a huge understatement. Not only are your private thoughts and actions being taken advantage of, but it is being done by the one person in the world that you’re supposed to trust above everyone else. When you get married, you are supposed to place your life in the hands of your spouse and not give the situation any second thought. However, the problem is that when you are trying to build a relationship with your spouse over time, actions like spying can do a great deal of damage to destroy any degree of trust that could have been built in that marital setting.
The other problem with a situation like this is there is no built-in rule book when it comes to how you handle a situation like this. Not only are you likely to go through a wide range of emotions if you find yourself in a position like this, but you are also likely to start to consider extreme options like divorce. Before you do so, however, you can take steps to mitigate the problems in your relationship and avoid a divorce. However, it takes the cooperation of both you and your spouse to make these efforts worthwhile.
Above all else, I think it is useful to attend counseling with your Co-parent in spouse when you are able. Many times your spouse may be unwilling to attend counseling with you. In that case, you may have to move forward with the divorce if you feel like the breach in your trust cannot be salvaged. If that is the situation that you find yourself in, then there is a time. In front of you or you need to ask questions to gain a perspective on whether or not to move forward with divorce at all. Many of the questions that you have may only be able to be answered by an attorney experienced in the area of family law.
What sort of spying may your spouse be engaging in? Gone are the days where you only had to concern yourself with your spouse eavesdropping on phone calls and otherwise trying to listen in on conversations that you are having with other people. I have even come into contact with people whose spouses attached tracking devices to their vehicles to keep track of their whereabouts that way. With the advent of digital technology, however, snooping and spying have taken on an added dimension of complexity and invasiveness.
For example, even benign methods of keeping track of a child’s computer use can be used to spy on an adult. We have seen that these sorts of toots can be used to keep track of your spouse’s online habits, spending trends, and also credit card information. Various sorts of software can be downloaded onto your computer without much problem to track the websites you frequent, your internet passwords, and make copies of your computer hard drive. It may sound like a lot of this is out of a spy novel, but the technology to do these sorts of things is readily available online and at your local computer/technology store.
With all of this said, you do not need to continue to be a victim of your spouse’s spying. You should consult with an experienced family law attorney once you come to learn that you are being spied on. An attorney can guide you towards a divorce if that is what you believe is appropriate for you and your family. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are ready and able to field your phone calls or requests for an in-person consultation to discuss matters related to spying and divorce. Our office boasts a staff of attorneys experienced in handling divorce cases on behalf of people just like you in our community. Reach out to us today for a consultation that could benefit you and your family a great deal.
What does it mean when your spouse is spying on you?
Even though you may have a certain degree of trust in your spouse, that may not be a reciprocated feeling by them. Your spouse may feel like they have something to hide and are actively trying to ensure that they aren’t aware of what is going on in their life. Whatever the cause of your spouse is buying, it is a frightening invasion of your privacy when you come to find out that a loved one is taking advantage of her trust and access to your personal information.
Not only does spying cut to the core of the marital relationship, but it also puts your spouse in a position where they may be breaking the law. For starters, any information that your spouse obtains against the law cannot be used in a court of law. Once a judge finds out that the information was obtained illegally, it will not be deemed admissible. However, that puts the onus on you 2 make sure your attorney is aware of how your spouse obtained that information. You should be aware of how your spouse got information and always stay updated with your case. Allowing your attorney to take the reins of your case would be a mistake.
With that said, all of the information that is obtained illegally can lead to other sources of information that can be potentially used against you in court. This is how your spouse can cover what they were doing illegally and use legally sourced information to harm your case in court. So even if you uncover spying in a case, you could still potentially be harmed by the illegally obtained information. After all, if you do not believe that your relationship is in some degree of trouble due to the spying, then I don’t know what to tell you. This degree of spying cuts to the core have your marriage and, at the very least, tells you to question this state of your relationship.
The vast majority of the time, when spying occurs in a divorce or child custody-related case, there are suspicions of infidelity that are going on. This could mean that your spouse suspects you of having an extramarital affair. They may be looking for dates, times, money spent on this person, or any other clues that could be used against you in your case. Your email or their private phone conversations could be the source of this information for them.
The infidelity could be related to financial matters as well. There are usually high correlations between financial problems and divorce. We tend to focus on marital infidelity predominantly in situations like this because nick catches people’s attention and is more interesting than financial problems. However, we see that financial infidelity in problems in a marriage is just as important, if not more so than Meridel or sexual infidelity. As a result, your spouse may be attempting to spy on you to obtain information like this.
Next, your spouse may suspect you of drug use or other negative behavior in attempting to access your email or phone remotely to verify where you have been on the Internet and who you have been talking to. For instance, if your spouse suspects that you are attempting to engage with someone you used to date or the person you were in a relationship with previously, they could lead you towards behavior that is harmful to you and your family. However, this does not justify their breaking your trust and breaking the law.
If you and your spouse run a small business together, they could be attempting to keep track of your spending to make sure that you are not siphoning off profits or money from your business. In our area, we have many entrepreneurs and others who have started and run their businesses. If you do so with your family, then you should be aware of the risk that your spouse could be attempting to use any impropriety or even the appearance of impropriety against you in a divorce. Being honest and open about the finances in your small business would likely help a great deal in this regard.
Power is always; these reasonable explanations as to why your spouse may be spying on you do not compensate for a spouse who is simply paranoid or suspecting you of bad behavior for no reason in particular. Only you know if your spouse falls into this category and if they have any malicious intent behind their behavior. In that case, there is only so much you can do to prevent your spouse from spying. You are better off protecting your information as best as possible and being direct with your spouse if you suspect them spying on you.
What impact could the spying have on your divorce?
The answer to this question is that spying in your divorce could have a fairly substantial impact on your case if left unchecked and not held accountable. For example, by spy on you, your spouse can obtain information that can harm your case and position in court. Even the appearance of bad behavior or impropriety could lead to your spouse alleging that the divorce has been filed due to bad behavior on your part. Your spouse can use fault grounds like wasting marital property to obtain a disproportionate share of hope your community is in or even to obtain spousal maintenance after the divorce.
Additionally, any evidence of adultery or infidelity in the marriage can be used against you to lessen the time you spend with your children after the divorce or directly lead 2 the disproportionate award of the Community property in your community estate. Evidence showing adultery or infidelity has every right to be used in court. However, if the evidence used in court was obtained through illegal means like spying, then you absolutely should fight to keep that information out of court and to hold your spouse accountable for having engaged in that type of behavior.
What can you do if you suspect your spouse of engaging in an affair?
If you are someone who suspects that your spouse is having an affair, then you should not attempt to spy on them to uncover evidence. That is true even if you have every reason to be upset that this behavior has a curd. Again, it is difficult to need allies’ evidence obtained illegally to form the basis of they fought ground for adultery in your divorce. Many people attempt to utilize information like this to file a civil lawsuit for alienation of affection against your spouse’s lover.
That’s right: your spouse’s lover in some states can be made to pay damages to you for loss of marital affection, humiliation, mental anguish, damage to your health, and the inability to provide you and your family support due to payments being made to the paramour. It would be best if you spoke to your attorney about the ability to pursue remedies based on alienation of affection 22 your spouse is cheating. A lot of your ability to do so will depend upon how you obtain any evidence of the cheating and the degree to which the cheating has impacted you and your family.
Are there telltale signs of spying that you can be made aware of?
As time passes, the ways that your spouse may be spying on you can only increase. At the beginning of this blog post, we already discussed how technology had assisted people in acting illegally and immorally towards their spouses in attempting to spy on them. While we know that this is true, that does not stop your spouse from attempting to do so. This means that you have to be as vigilant as you can in protecting yourself and your information.
If you leave your email logged on in your home computer or even on your phone, then you can expect that your spouse may be taking advantage of this. Old fashioned ways of checking the mail and opening letters in your name or even going through your phone are tried and true methods of spying that have been taking place for many years.
If you are active on social media, then your spouse may be accessing your social media profiles to see with whom you are having conversations and even what sort of groups or activities you have been engaging with, as well. Social media has become a large component of many divorce cases in recent years, and I don’t see this trend stopping anytime soon. If you suspect that your spouse is spying on you, it may even be worth your while to eliminate your use of social media.
Additionally, your spouse may be going to extreme lengths to spy on you by hiring a private investigator. A private investigator can be hired to acquire information on another person for a certain sum of money. That person may track your whereabouts to and from work, access information about you on the Internet, and even talk to people in your life about your activities. A private investigator can obtain information legally and provide that to your spouse, which can be used against you in a divorce.
With so many opportunities for spying to occur in your life, he may be wondering what you can do to mitigate or eliminate opportunities for your spouse. If you suspect that your spouse is spying on you, the best thing you can do is change Internet passwords and never make email or social media logged on by anyone but you with a password. It may be a pain to have to go through and change email passwords, but this can go a long way towards helping reduce the risk of spying to occur.
Whatever situation you find yourself in, the important thing for you and your family is that you should not give up on protecting your information and doing what is right. While you cannot control the behavior of your spouse, you can control. By taking some of the simple preventative measures listening to today’s blog post, and meeting with an experienced family law attorney, you can mitigate the chances of being taken advantage of through spying.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law and how your family may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.